Harry Potter and the Hell House
by Slave Boi Du
Summary: When kids are stuck in a "haunted house" and have nothing to do they will start do creative things.


I do not own any of the characters in Harry Potter, although I wish that I did.

In the mist of the wizarding world stands a mansion and inside are witches and wizards standing around a black baby grand piano singing "Roses" by Incast ,a famous wizard rap group. There a young Minister of Magic (Fudge) sits playing on the jet black piano, laughing and singing to his hearts content. The music is suddenly stopped as a young girl with frizzy brown hair, bloodshot eyes, deathly pale skin, and coke bottle glasses walk into the room. She stares at the witches and wizards in the room and says," You Suck Ass." She starts to urinate onto the snow white carpet floor non stop. The urine spreads farther and farther away from the girl creating a circle around her that is five time bigger than she is. The girl is recognized as the ghost that haunts the girls bathroom at Hogwarts(Moaning Myrtle). Her mother, a woman with beautiful chestnut hair and eyes, walks towards her child and says to the guest,"exuse her she has a strange curse put on her," while she pushes her daughters face into the urine and hits her with a newspaper saying," bad girl, bad girl," over and over again. The woman chains the child to her bed upstairs and quickly descends the stairs to answer the knocking at the door. She opens the door to find an old man with half-moon spectacles and a long gray beard standing there. "Thank you for coming Dumbledore," she says. He takes off his jacket and says," sorry it took so long, at my age it takes the little soldier a lot more thumping to get pumping. But I feel that if I tickle my ass right before unleashing the dog I..." His words are stopped by the motion of the woman's hands. Dumbledore clears his throat and asked," how is Myrtle doing." "It has gotten worst the spell has changed her appearance as well as her attitude. It feels as though she is possessed." Suddenly Fudge appears and tells him that he is here to assist Albus in taking the curse off of the child and un-possessing her." Would you like to see the girl," Fudge asks Albus."Yes, but first I must bless this house," he says walking toward the bathroom. He enters a bathroom with beautiful canary yellow walls. He undoes his pants, pulls up his robe, and sits on the toilet. He starts to chant something in a low voice and a look of concentration is seen on his face. He grits his teeth and balls his hands into fist gripping tightly onto the toilet saying," Merlin give me the strength to cast this demon OUT." Suddenly the toilet starts to rumble as Albus defecates into the toilet so furiously that the sewage pipe backs up and burst all over the side off the house. a sign of relief is on Dumbledore's face as the thanks Merlin for helping him. Albus meets Fudge outside of Myrtle's room and Fudge opens the door. Suddenly a green faced Myrtle slowly twists her head in a complete circle a gives a horrible shriek. "Fuck this shit," Dumbledore says but is grabbed by Fudge and convinced to stay and help the girl. The girl sticks her tongue out and starts to waves it up and down in a very quick motion. Dumbledore turns to her with a seductive look in his eyes and does the same gesture back towards Myrtle in a sexy way. "DO ME, DO ME," she yells as Albus jumps on the bed and starts to "hump" her leg like a horny dog. Fudge looks up from his chanting of spells from a spellbook and notices what Albus is doing." This is not part of the ritual Albus," Fudge says in a commanding voice as Dumbledore quickly gets off of the bed. Fudge starts to throw a potion on the girl to de-possess her when she suddenly vomits across the bed onto Fudge. The girl starts to laugh as Fudge takes a deep breath, puffs his cheeks out, and vomits back onto the girl. Getting sick from all the vomiting Albus turns and vomits on Fudge and then starts to laugh before Fudge takes another deep breath and vomits on Dumbledore. Fudge and Dumbledore grab some towels from the closet and clean themselves of all the vomit. "YOU MAGIC IS USELESS AGAINST ME," the girl says in a mighty and powerful voice. Fudge and Dumbledore start chanting again as Myrtle laughs at them. She cackles loudly and says," YOUR MOTHER SUCKS VOLDERMORT'S DICK." Suddenly Dumbledore pulls out his wand, points it in Myrtles face and says," suck on this." A powerful blast is emitted from the wand and Myrtle is partially cured. That day Myrtle's mother and father died but their spirits stayed in the house to haunt it and all whom enter it. From that day forward Fudge and Dumbledore nicknamed that house "Hell House."


End file.
